


Michael in the Chatroom

by NurseMedusa



Series: Michael in the Chatroom [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Also the Squip is a shipper, But this is the main backstory to those oneshots, Comedy jokes, Gen, I have the whole fic written so all the chapters will be posted within like two weeks, I'm a sucker for post-musical Squip okay, It's a mix, Light Angst, Oh yeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Post-Squip, Regret, Squip redemption, Swearing, Texting, That says something about me as a person, There'll be oneshots after this fic is over, This is also probably the lightest fic I've ever written, bad choices, chatfic, haha - Freeform, light fluff, oh noes, sad stuff, so that's fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-02 22:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12735957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NurseMedusa/pseuds/NurseMedusa
Summary: Player 2: Now Michael, quit being so ridiculousPlayer 1: I’m being ridiculous?!Player 1: NoPlayer 1: You’re the one who’s the problem herePlayer 2: Heere*Player 1: What the fuck dude(Michael gets some strange messages from a certain supercomputer and things go downhill from there)





	1. Player 2

**Author's Note:**

> The BMC tag needs more chatfics with the Squip. I am being the change I want to see in the world.

It didn’t take a genius to realize that the Squip wasn’t completely gone, Michael knew that much.  Between the way Jeremy would sometimes stare off at nothing or shout at a plain wall, it was kind of obvious.

Now, what WASN’T obvious is why it was being so darn persistent.

 

**Player 2:** _ Now Michael, quit being so ridiculous _

 

He had no idea how or why it was doing this, but he wasn’t going to back down.

 

**Player 1:** _ I’m being ridiculous?! _

**Player 1:** _ No _

**Player 1:** _ You’re the one who’s the problem here _

 

**Player 2:** _ Heere* _

 

**Player 1:** _ What the fuck dude _

 

**Player 2:** _ I figured some comedy might lighten the mood _

**Player 2:** _ I seem to have been mistaken _

**Player 2:** _ I apologize _

 

**Player 1:** _ Too little too late, you tic tac _

 

**Player 2:** _ You seem upset by my presence _

 

**Player 1:** _ No shit, Sherlock _

 

**Player 2:** _ I assure you, I’m being as sincere as possible _

 

**Player 1:** _ Welp, too bad _

**Player 1:** _ Get ready to say goodbye, you little shit _

**Player 1:** _ I’m gonna wake Jer up and then that’ll be the end of you _

 

**Player 2:** _ Well, not forever _

**Player 2:** _ I know you’ve noticed _

**Player 2:** _ And, since I have enough power to use Jeremy’s phone remotely, who’s to say that I don’t, maybe, have enough power to take over his body completely? _

 

Michael froze, his phone nearly falling from his hands.  Could the Squip still even do that?  Could he even do that to begin with?  He desperately searched for any sort of information on the strange computer inside his friend’s brain, but he could never find much.

 

**Player 1:** _ You’re lying _

 

**Player 2:** _ Oh?  Am I? _

**Player 2:** _ If you’re so sure, then call Jeremy and wake him up _

**Player 2:** _ Just don’t blame me when ‘he’ reactivates everyone's’ dormant Squips _

 

**Player 1:** _ What do you want _

 

**Player 2:** _ A chance to prove myself _

 

**Player 1:** _ And if I say no..? _

 

**Player 2:** _ You won’t _

 

**Player 1:** _ You sure are a cocky piece of shit _

 

SIghing, he looked at the screen and began typing out another message, having made his mind up.

 

**Player 1:** _ I won’t tell on ONE condition _

 

**Player 2:** _ And that is? _

 

**Player 1:** _ Change your username, it’s giving me the fucking creeps _

 

**_Player 2_** _changed their username to_ **_Still Heere_**

  
**Player 1:** _ Oh god dammit _


	2. Still Heere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Player 1: I stole your thing and you got mad at me
> 
> Player 1: Holy shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No plot yet really, just witty banter between a supercomputer and a stoner.

**Still Heere:** _ How was school, Michael? _

 

Michael pulled his phone out of his pocket, groaning at the message.

“Is something wrong?” Jeremy’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Just a super annoying spam-bot that keeps messaging me,” Michael slid his phone back into his pocket and pulled out of the school’s parking lot.

“Does your phone have a glitch or something?” Michael shook his head.

“I think it’s a bug in the messaging app, I’ve been trying to clean it out for a few days,” he answered, “I’ll hopefully have it dealt with soon enough.” The conversation died at that, music softly playing in the background as Michael dropped Jeremy off at his house. “We’re still on for Friday, right?” Jeremy grinned.

“Of course we are,” waving, he walked away from the car, “See ya tomorrow, dude!”

“See ya!” It was a quick trip down the road to his own house, the entire time of which was spent trying to recall how many times the Squip had messaged him in just the short car trip.  Once he was finally home, he pulled his phone out.

 

**_(6) New messages from_ ** **Still Heere** **_!_ **

 

**Still Heere:** _ Spam-bot _

**Still Heere:** _ Ha ha _

**Still Heere:** _ How funny _

**Still Heere:** _ Based on my data, you should be home by now _

**Still Heere:** _ Michael _

**Still Heere:** _ Michael should I alert the authorities to your traffic accident _

 

**Player 1:** _ Jesus no I just took my time getting home _

**Player 1:** _ Fuckin chill man _

 

The Squip didn’t immediately reply, leaving Michael to assume their conversation was over.  Sadly for him, that was not the case.

 

**Still Heere:** _ You stop that _

 

**Player 1:** _ ? _

 

**Still Heere:** _ You fail to grasp the concept of ‘chill’ _

**Still Heere:** _ Human communication is based on rules _

**Still Heere:** _ I understand these rules _

**Still Heere:** _ You, Mister Mell, do not _

**Still Heere:** _ You cannot tell someone to be chill when you yourself are not _

 

**Player 1:** _ Oh my god _

**Player 1:** _ I stole your thing _

 

**Still Heere:** _ You did not steal anything from me _

 

**Player 1:** _ I stole your thing and you got mad at me _

**Player 1:** _ Holy shit _

**Player 1:** _ Jer n Rich said that you were annoying but _

**Player 1:** _ This _

**Player 1:** _ You’re blowin my fuckin mind _

 

**Still Heere:** _ Wow _

**Still Heere:** _ It’s almost funny how sad this is _

 

**Player 1:** _ Yeah uh,,, _

**Player 1:** _ While we’re on that subject _

**Player 1:** _ Change your username again _

 

**Still Heere:** _ Why? _

 

**Player 1:** _ Cuz ur still using Jer’s name in a way and _

**Player 1:** _ Honestly _

**Player 1:** _ That stopped being funny about two days ago _

 

**Still Heere:** _ Fine _

 

**_Still Heere_** _changed their username to_ **_The Best(™)_**

  
**Player 1:** _ I beg your fuckign pardon _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up next, the Squip finds shady internet content.


	3. The Best(TM)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Player 1: I can’t believe you learned about shipping before you even learned how to feel emotions what kind of computer are you
> 
> The Best(™): The super kind

**The Best(™):** _ Michael _

**The Best(™):** _ Are you aware of what…’shipping’ is? _

 

Michael instantly regretted looking at his phone.

“Just kill me now,” he dragged his hands down his face to try and do something to hide his dissatisfaction with the current situation.  Jeremy looked at him in concern from across the dirty cafeteria table.

“Is something wrong?” Michael unlocked his phone to reply.

“Just that stupid spam-bot again…”

“You should tell it to fuck off.”

 

**Player 1:** _ Jeremy says ‘fuck off’ _

 

**The Best(™):** _ I am aware _

 

**Player 1:** _May I ask why you wanna talk about shipping_

 

**The Best(™):** _ Well, your backpack says ‘RIENDS’ and Jeremy’s says ‘BOYF’ _

 

**Player 1:** _ Yea...ok _

 

**The Best(™):** _ It’s like your ship name _

 

**Player 1:** _ You think Rich ships us _

 

**The Best(™):** _ I was merely making an observation based on the environment _

**The Best(™):** _ You did tell me to spend a bit of time researching human culture, this is what my search turned up _

 

**Player 1:** _ Your search was fucking gay _

**Player 1:** _ (And who would use the ship name ‘Boyf Riends’ that sounds dumb) _

 

**The Best(™):** _ There were a lot of ‘ships’ that fall into that category...yes _

**The Best(™):** _ (And you only say that because I brought it up) _

 

**Player 1:** _ I can’t believe you learned about shipping before you even learned how to feel emotions what kind of computer are you _

 

**The Best(™):** _ The super kind _

 

**Player 1:** _ That’s it I’m leaving _

 

Michael slammed his phone onto the table and pretended to not notice it repeatedly buzzing.

“For a spam-bot, that thing sure is active…” Jeremy commented, noticing the device nearly vibrate itself off the table.

“You have  _ no _ idea,” Michael replied, watching it dance around.  It continued vibrating nearly nonstop for a few minutes, but eventually died down.  Michael picked it up and shoved it into his pocket without even checking the messages. “Well, that’s a relief.” Jeremy smiled for a brief second before he leaned over, clutching his head in pain. “Hold up, are you okay?” Michael leaned over the table, staring at his friend with concern.

“Yeah, it’s just…” Jeremy shot a glare over his shoulder, “Just a headache.”

“Let me guess, that headache is named the Squip,” Jeremy nodded, grimacing.

“He’s been awful quiet lately, but I guess that him being gone was just too good to be true.” Michael looked at his phone again.

 

**The Best(™):** _ Michael come back _

**The Best(™):** _ Michael come on, it was just a joke _

**The Best(™):** _ Michael, if you don’t come back I’m gonna start talking to Jeremy again _

**The Best(™):** _ You have noticed that he’s commented on me less as of late, haven’t you? _

**The Best(™):** _ When I talk to you, it uses up a lot of my power _

**The Best(™):** _ If I talk to you then I don’t have the energy to talk to him _

**The Best(™):** _ That’s it I’m talking to Jeremy now _

 

**_The Best(™)_ ** _ is now offline _

 

**Player 1:** _ Wait no come back _

 

**_The Best(™)_ ** _ is now online _

 

**_The Best(™)_ ** _ changed their username to _ **_Bored_ **

 

**Bored:** _ Oh, so now you wanna talk _

 

**Player 1:** _ Well, if you have to leave Jeremy alone when we talk, then fuck yea I wanna talk _

**Player 1:** _ But I’m not endorsing your shipping nonsense _

 

**Bored:** _ Okay…’Riends’ _

 

**Player 1:** _ I fucking hate you _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that a trace of plot I smell amidst all the other trash here? Quite possibly, yes.


	4. Bored

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bored: Michael
> 
> Bored: How dare insinuate that, I, a supercomputer, would have the capacity to change a simple username in a chatroom application and then block out a user’s ability to change it back
> 
> Bored: I would never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this story have a proper direction yet?

**Riends:** _ Do you wanna confess to something here? _

 

**Bored:** _ Heere* _

 

**Riends:** _ Don’t change the subject on me, you tic tac reject _

 

**Bored:** _ I don’t know what you’re talking about _

 

**Riends:** _ My username _

**Riends:** _ You did this didn’t you _

 

**Bored:** _ Michael _

**Bored:** _ How dare insinuate that, I, a supercomputer, would have the capacity to change a simple username in a chatroom application and then block out a user’s ability to change it back _

**Bored:** _ I would never _

 

**Riends:** _ Did you pick up sarcasm from being around Rich too much or was it just programmed into you _

 

**Bored:** _ Your username aside, mine still stands _

**Bored:** _ I’m bored _

 

**Riends:** _ How about you go find another school to take over _

 

**Bored:** _ I’ve got a better idea _

 

**_Bored_** _has added_ ** _Player 2_** _to the chat!  Play nice!_

 

**Player 2:** _ New phone who dis _

 

**Riends:** _ Excuse me what _

 

**Player 2:** _ Hold up _

**Player 2:** _ Michael _

**Player 2:** _ I’ve told you a million times  _

**Player 2:** _ I don’t wanna join ur fuckin warcraft guild _

 

**Riends:** _ I didn’t do this _

 

**Bored:** _ I’m bored _

 

**Player 2:** _ I can tell _

**Player 2:** _ So why am I here _

 

**Bored:** _ Heere* _

 

**Player 2:** _ Oh god dammit _

**Player 2:** _ Wait _

**Player 2:** _ Do I know you..? _

 

**Riends:** _ Please just kill me now _

 

**Bored:** _ That can be arranged _

 

**Riends:** _ Oh don’t you fucking start _

 

**Player 2:** _ Wait Mikey is that the spam-bot _

 

**Riends:** _ Yes _

**Riends:** _ Yes it fucking is _

 

**Player 2:** _ I’m gonna be completely honest _

**Player 2:** _ What the happ is fuckening _

 

**Bored:** _ Jeremy, are you aware of what ‘shipping’ is? _

 

**Riends:** _ Okay nope no no no nope nada no _

**Riends:** _ We’re done here _

 

**Bored:** _ Heere* _

 

**_Riends_ ** _ removed  _ **_Player 2_ ** _ from the chat!  Bye-bye! _

 

**Bored:** _ How’d you do that _

 

**Riends:** _ I still have access to my admin commands motherfucker _

**Riends:** _ As for you _

 

**_Riends_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Bored_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_Tic Tac Reject_ **

  
**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Real mature, Michael _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evidently not


	5. Tic Tac Reject

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tic Tac Reject: Michael I’m bored
> 
> Riends is now online
> 
> Riends: Jseus  
> Riends: Waht the fukc do you want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that plot I smell?

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Michael _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Michael come back _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ I left my username alone _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ I can change your’s back, if you like _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Please _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Michael I’m bored _

 

**_Riends_ ** _ is now online _

 

**Riends:** _ Jseus _

**Riends:** _ Waht the fukc do you want _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ I apologize _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Did I wake you? _

 

**Riends:** _ What do yuo thikn _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ I’m sorry Michael _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Should I let you sleep? _

 

**Riends:** _ I’m up now _

**Riends:** _ What was so important that you had to get me u p at 3 am _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Well _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ I was thinking _

 

**Riends:** _ Holy shit _

**Riends:** _ You actually do that? _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Yes _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ I’m quite advanced, Michael _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Anyway _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ I was thinking and I realized something _

 

**Riends:** _ That you’re a piece of shit and you should get out of Jeremy’s life before you make it even worse? _

 

The Squip didn’t respond immediately, so Michael sighed and set his phone down on the bed.

_ What would he even HAVE to think about?  It’s not like he’s gonna text me saying he’s suddenly uncovered the greatest secrets of the universe or something.  He has nothing to think about. _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Well...Michael, I… _

 

**Riends:** _ What?  You what? _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ I realized something _

 

There was another pause, as if the supercomputer, for  _ once, _ didn’t know what to say.

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ You’re right _

 

**Riends:** _ What? _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ You’re right _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ After everything that’s happened, Jeremy is better off without me _

 

_ He’s admitting that I’m right..? _

 

**Riends:** _ Well great _

**Riends:** _ Good for you _

**Riends:** _ Now get out of my friend’s head _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Michael...I… _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ I’m sorry _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ But I can’t _

 

**Riends:** _ Excuse me _

**Riends:** _ You said you’re sorry _

**Riends:** _ Now ctrl alt delete yourself so Jer n I can move on and pretend you never existed _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ It’s not that simple _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ My creators made it so that I could never be fully removed _

 

**Riends:** _ Bullshit _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ I beg your pardon? _

 

**Riends:** _ That’s bullshit _

**Riends:** _ All the other Squips from the play are gone or dormant or whatever _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ That was caused by a multi-system catastrophic failure due to a combination of us all over extending our syncing and controlling abilities, their ages, and the Mountain Dew Red _

 

**Riends:** _ Rich’s Squip is gone _

**Riends:** _ Explain that _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Rich’s Squip is gone due to a combination of smoke and dust inhalation from the fire, the meds from the results of that fire, and your frequent ‘gifts’ of the aforementioned Mountain Dew Red _

 

**Riends:** _ So if I just give Jer a lotta MDR then you’ll leave? _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ No, I don’t work like that _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Michael, you need to understand, I’m an implant inside Jeremy’s brain _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ It takes numerous factors to even attempt to remove a Squip completely _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ At this point, the only probable way Jeremy could hope to have me removed would be through a surgical extraction process _

 

**Riends:** _ Well, you said you’re sorry so just deactivate yourself _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ As much as I would love to, and, trust me, at this point, I would, I can’t do that either _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ After the incident at your school, the reboot process I went through allowed me to gain access to numerous files full of information my programmers had previously locked away without risk of causing harm to myself or Jeremy _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ If I were to try and deactivate myself, there’s an auto-run sequence that will cause my processor to completely overload in order to prevent any classified Squip information being leaked to the public by a former user _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ The electric shock produced by such a process would be more than enough to completely fry the brain of my user _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ If I attempted to deactivate now, Jeremy would certainly be killed _

 

The phone fell from Michael’s hands, landing on the bed with a quiet  _ thud _ .

_ There’s no way that’s true, he could just be lying to avoid getting killed.  But, at the same time… _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Michael, I’m so sorry _

 

**_Tic Tac Reject_ ** _ is now offline _

 

**Riends:** _ Hey _

**Riends:** _ Hey you fucker get back here _

**Riends:** _ Get back here _

**Riends:** _ You can’t just leave like that _

**Riends:** _ You fucking piece of fucking shit _

**Riends:** _ Fuck _

**Riends:** _ Fuck you _

**Riends:** _ God dammit… _

 

**_Riends_ ** _ is now offline _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES, YES IT IS


	6. Squip Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Squip added (1) new event to the server calendar! "Michael confesses to Jeremy"
> 
> Riends: No
> 
> Riends edited (1) event on the server calendar! "Explaining everything"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so you guys like the plot I guess

“Michael?  Are you feeling okay?” Michael looked up from where his head was currently positioned flat on his desk to stare at Jeremy, but his brain only focused on his conversation from last night.

_ If I attempted to deactivate now, Jeremy would certainly be killed. _

He opened his mouth to answer Jeremy, but another voice cut him off.

“Mister Mell!” The teacher yelled, “Are you too good for this class?” Michael slammed his face back onto his desk.

“No Mrs. Ellen,” she grumbled before returning to rambling on about some math thing that Michael honestly couldn’t care less about.  He watched as Jeremy slid a small piece of paper onto his desk.

‘ _ You good?’ _

Sighing, he stared at the note.

_ No, not really. _

_ ‘Yeah, I just had trouble sleeping last night’ _

He hated having to lie, but Jeremy felt like he’d finally reached the end of his Squip troubles and Michael didn’t want him to have to worry about it too.

_ ‘If you’re sure…’ _

Michael didn’t see any need to pass the note back, so he tucked it in his pocket as the bell rang.  Dashing into the hall before he could get held in class by a mad teacher, both boys rushed into the hallway.

“Are you really sure you’re doing okay?” Jeremy asked, “I mean, you say you’re okay and all but you don’t really look okay.” Once again, Michael’s answer was cut off, this time by his phone buzzing.

 

**_(1) New message from Tic Tac Reject!_ **

 

He sighed and unlocked his phone.

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Michael...I’m sorry _

 

**Riends:** _ Yea uh-huh fuck you _

 

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ Please just… _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ You can tell Jeremy _

**Tic Tac Reject:** _ I won’t do anything to stop you _

 

**_Tic Tac Reject_ ** _ is now offline _

 

“Michael?  What is it?” Michael frowned, looking up from the device, “You seem really off lately, is something bothering you?”

“Jeremy...I-” he paused, thinking things over, “I need you to come over later.”

“Uh-” seemingly dumbfounded, Jeremy blinked at him, “Okay.” Jeremy smiled before glaring into an empty corner. “No, fuck you.” He angrily declared to the empty space.

“And what is our favorite evil tic tac doing today?” Michael asked, grateful that the subject had (almost) changed.

“I don’t know where he’s getting it, but…” Jeremy sighed, placing his face in his hands, “On the rare occasion he shows up nowadays, he rambles on about the dumbest stuff.  Today’s topic is apparently ‘shipping’.” Michael laughed.

_ So he’s still going on about that.  Well, there are worse things he could be talking about… _

“Just ignore him,” Michael suggested, wrapping an arm around Jeremy’s shoulders, “It’s like you said, he’s rarely showing up anymore!  Maybe, if you ignore him, he’ll show up even less.”

“Hopefully,” Jeremy smiled as they walked down the hall, “See you after class?”

“You bet,” Michael’s smile disappeared as soon as Jeremy vanished into the crowd.

_ How am I supposed to tell him..? _

 

~~~

 

**_Tic Tac Reject_** _has changed their username to_ **_Squip_**

 

**Riends:** _ Lame _

 

**Squip:** _ I simply see no point to having a convoluted username when you’re planning to tell Jeremy the truth _

**Squip:** _ At least, I’m assuming that you’re going to tell him _

 

**Riends:** _ If everything works out, that’s the plan _

 

**Squip:** _ And you’re going to tell him everything? _

**Squip:** _ Even the things I told you last night? _

 

**Riends:** _ Everything _

**Riends:** _ I’m not planning to keep something as big as ‘you can literally never get this pill out of your brain no matter what you do sorry’ secret from my best friend _

 

**Squip:** _ Boyf Riends _

 

**Riends:** _ Hush, you _

**Riends:** _ Wait _

**Riends:** _ Speaking of you _

 

**Squip:** _ Yes? _

 

**Riends:** _ Will you be there? _

**Riends:** _ Like, when I’m explaining everything to Jer tonight _

 

**Squip:** _ I can be, if you’d like _

**Squip:** _ I could even set up a voice-chat so you could talk to me directly _

 

**Riends:** _ You can do that? _

 

**Squip:** _ Why are you still surprised that I, a literal, sentient, supercomputer, can do basic things? _

 

**Riends:** _ In my defense, you’ve never mentioned it before _

 

**Squip:** _ Because it takes a lot of power and I think we’d both appreciate if I didn’t completely drain my host of all their energy, now wouldn’t we? _

 

**Riends:** _ Fair point _

**Riends:** _ Anyway _

**Riends:** _ Tonight _

**Riends:** _ We’re gonna do this _

 

**_Squip_ ** _ added (1) new event to the server calendar!   _ **_Michael confesses to Jeremy_ **

 

**Riends:** _ No _

 

**_Riends_ ** _ edited (1) event on the server calendar!   _ **_Explaining everything_ **

  
**Squip:** _ Must you suck the fun out of everything? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready, kiddos, stuff's 'bout to go down


	7. Squip Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riends started a server voice call!
> 
> Squip: Heere we go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to open up my laptop to post this, screw mobile

“So,” Jeremy started, throwing his backpack onto the carpeted floor of Michael’s basement, “What’d you wanna talk about?” Michael sighed deeply and slowly slid his phone out of his pocket.

“There’s something you should know,” his fingers were hovering over the ‘begin call’ button, “Just, promise me you won’t freak out!”

“Why would I freak out?” Jeremy asked, “Michael, this is starting to scare me a little bit.”

 

**_Riends_ ** _ started a server voice call! _

 

**Squip:** _ Heere we go _

 

**_Squip_ ** _ joined  _ **_Riends_ ** _ ’s voice call! _

 

“Now that everyone’s here, let’s get started,” Michael turned his phone’s volume all the way up and sat it down.

“Everyone?  Michael, what are you-”

_ “Michael, I just used that pun, please wait at least a minute before using it again,”  _ a chilling voice came through the small speaker.

“Michael,” Jeremy’s tone deepened, he looked to the left and saw the Squip sitting next to where Michael had placed his phone, “What the  _ fuck _ is going on?”

“Please don’t freak out!” Michael pleaded, “You promised that you wouldn’t freak out.”

“Well that was before you set up a fucking skype call with the supercomputer in my mind!” Jeremy yelled, “So tell me what’s going on!”

_ “Jeremy, your stress levels and adrenaline are increasing rapidly,” _ the Squip chimed in,  _ “You might want to consider-” _

“And you can stop right there,” he angrily pointed at an empty corner where Michael guessed the Squip was projecting itself, “This has nothing to do with you.”

“Actually,” Michael interjected, trying to cut the tensions, “It kind of has everything to do with him,” Jeremy sat down across from Michael, “Remember that spam-bot I was talking about a few weeks ago?”

“The one that was messaging you nonstop?  Yeah, what about it?” Michael sighed, looking down.

“I kind of lied about that,” he paused, “It was actually the Squip messaging me.” Jeremy’s gaze traveled back and forth between the Squip and Michael.

“He can do that?” He asked.  The Squip groaned.

_ “Of course I can do that, you idiots,”  _ he said,  _ “I’m a supercomputer.  What kind of supercomputer can’t use a messaging application?” _

“Then how did I not know about this?” Jeremy asked, “As you oh-so-eloquently like to remind me constantly, you’re inside my brain.  Wouldn’t I notice you firing off messages to Michael?”

_ “No, when I message Michael, or anyone for that matter, it takes a great deal of energy, meaning I act as if I were in shutdown mode for my user,”  _ the Squip gestured to Michael,  _ “The reason I’ve been absent from you mind as of late is because I’ve been messaging Michael.” _

“And the reason I kept talking to him is because then you wouldn’t have to deal with him.”

“So,” Jeremy started, “Let me get this straight,” he paused, gesturing to the Squip, “You can text people and doing that basically turns you off,” he turned and gestured to Michael, “And you continued to text him because then I don’t have to talk to him,” Both the Squip and Michael nodded, “And neither of you thought that telling me about this would be a good idea?”

“You just seemed happier that the Squip was gone most of the time,” Michael defended himself, “I didn’t want to bring more Squip drama into your life.”

_ “And I have no obligation to tell you anything unless you ask or we have a predetermined goal already set,”  _ the Squip crossed his arms,  _ “I may be an AI in your mind designed to assist you, but if you don’t want assistance then I’m not obliged to provide it,”  _ he paused,  _ “That and you clearly don’t like me.”  _ Jeremy sighed.

“Okay, so you guys text each other,” he said, “Is there anything else I should know about?” The Squip watched as Michael’s shoulders slumped.

“There is,” he said, frowning.

“Alright,” Jeremy shrugged, “What is it?” Michael was almost hoping that the Squip would chime in and provide a satisfactory answer, but the computer was silent.

“Well…” Michael started, “Yesterday, we had a particularly interesting conversation.”

“What happened?” Jeremy asked, “Did he mention how to get rid of him?”

_ “I almost take offense to how stupid you must think I am,”  _ both of them ignored the computer’s complaint.

“He actually did talk about something like that,” Michael stared at the ground, “You know how Rich’s Squip is gone now?” Jeremy nodded, “And the others from the play, how they’re all gone?” He nodded again, “Well…”

_ “That was merely a fluke,”  _ the Squip interjected, tired of Michael’s stalling.

“Which means…” Jeremy gestured for one of them to finish their sentences.

“That you can’t get rid of it,” Michael finished, visibly shaking.  Jeremy scanned them both up and down.

“Michael…” he started, “What the  _ fuck _ are you saying?”

“I’m saying that-”

“Of all the people to talk about the Squip like that, I never expected you!” Jeremy bolted up, “And you!” He pointed at the Squip, “Quit filling his head with your shitty lies,” he demanded as he yanked his bag off the ground, “It’s bad enough you already tried to fill mine,” Michael stood up.

“Jeremy, wait!” He called out as Jeremy started marching up the stairs.

_ “Jeremiah, calm down,” _ he didn’t waver in his movements.

“I need some time alone to process all this,” he explained, opening the door, “Just fucking text each other or something.”

“Jeremy-” the door slammed shut and Jeremy was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When will the comedy and fluff return from the war?


	8. Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry: Are you asking for help?  
> Sorry: MY help?
> 
> Riends: I know  
> Riends: This is THAT big of a problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;3c

**_Squip_ ** _ is now online _

 

**_Squip_** _has changed their username to_ **_Sorry_**

 

**Riends:** _ Whoop dee fuckin doo _

**Riends:** _ Do you think that changing your username is gonna make everything better? _

 

**Sorry:** _ I didn’t expect Jeremy to react like that _

 

**Riends:** _ Well _

**Riends:** _ Great _

**Riends:** _ Now my closest friend thinks I’m pro-Squip and won’t talk to me _

 

**Sorry:** _ I guess I’ll just be going then _

 

**Riends:** _ Fuck no you’re not leaving _

**Riends:** _ Leave Jer alone rn _

**Riends:** _ He deserves it _

 

**Sorry:** _ Then do you have any suggestions for what we could talk about? _

 

**Riends:** _ Oh look, the supercomputer’s asking me for suggestions _

 

**Sorry:** _…_

 

**Riends:** _ And how about you help me fix the problems you caused _

**Riends:** _ You’re programmed to help people in conversations right _

 

**Sorry:** _ That’s certainly over-simplifying it _

**Sorry:** _ But, yes, a large portion of my programming is dedicated to assisting in conversation _

**Sorry:** _ Are you asking for help? _

**Sorry:** _ MY help? _

 

**Riends:** _ I know _

**Riends:** _ This is THAT big of a problem _

 

**Sorry:** _ This goes against entire sections of protocols, but… _

**Sorry:** _ I’ll help _

**Sorry:** _ But not because of you _

**Sorry:** _ Having a distressed host is a nuisance _

**Sorry:** _ So this is for me _

 

**Riends:** _ Whatever you sentimental tic tac _

**Riends:** _ Actually _

**Riends:** _ When are you planning to finish explaining the whole ‘if I deactivate it’ll kill you’ thing to Jeremy _

 

**Sorry:** _ Probably the next time hę͢-͡͏̵-̨-͟͞-̸̶ _

 

**Riends:** _ ? _

**Riends:** _ Squip..? _

**Riends:** _ Wtf _

 

_ Connection error!  User  _ **_Sorry_ ** _ has mysteriously disconnected.  Please try again later! _

 

**_Sorry_ ** _ is now offline _

 

Michael took that as a sign to try and message Jeremy, but he was offline too.  Deciding to send him a message anyway, Michael opened their chat.  Thinking it would be best to leave the Squip out of his talk with Jeremy, he began hastily typing out messages.

 

**Player 1:** _ Hey man _

**Player 1:** _ Sorry about everything earlier _

**Player 1:** _ Just _

**Player 1:** _ Message me when you can _

**Player 1:** _ I know there’s no reason to worry, but I just… _

**Player 1:** _ (Sigh) _

**Player 1:** _ Just message me soon, k? _

 

~~~

 

Jeremy threw himself onto his bed, sighing.

“Reactivate,” he said, watching a blur of pixels collect into the familiar figure out of the corner of his eye.

_ “-e͘ r͝e҉͏a͡͠c̴ţ̷į̧͢vą͝͡t͟es̢ ̕m͘͡e͞͡,”  _ the Squip froze,  _ “Oh, Jeremy,”  _ he straightened himself up, tightening the digital tie he always wore,  _ “I wasn’t expecting you to reactivate me intentionally ever again.”  _ Jeremy sat up.

“Let me guess, you were talking with Michael,” he glared at the Squip.

_ “Michael and I were having a conversation, yes,”  _ he answered,  _ “However, my user comes first, so what would you like to talk about?”  _ Jeremy faked a laugh.

“I come first?  Good to know,” the Squip glared at him, “And what I want to know is why you decided to convince Michael that I can’t get rid of you,” the Squip sat down next to Jeremy on his bed, folding his hands.

_ “You do know what I am,” _ he asked,  _ “Right, Jeremy?”  _ The question confused him.

“Of course, you’re a Squip.”

_ “Beyond that, you do know what kind of technology I am, right?”  _ Jeremy thought about the bizarre question for a moment.

“You’re a supercomputer AI pill thing,” the Squip groaned, dissatisfied with the teen’s answers.

_ “I’m a neural implant, Jeremy,”  _ he impatiently explained,  _ “A piece of technology that embeds itself inside its user’s brain to gain the benefits of complete user customization and the ability to directly channel information and energy between both the machine, me, and the user, you,”  _ Jeremy nodded,  _ “Do you understand what that means?” _

“Kind of..?” The Squip groaned again.

_ “That means that any hardware used to construct me is made of materials resistant to normal bodily functions designed to rid the brain of any would-be ‘parasites’.” _

“Well, that explains why you’re still here,” Jeremy laughed, but the Squip continued to simply glare at him until he awkwardly fake coughed any remaining laughter away, “Um, anyway, continue.”

_ “And that also means that I was both programmed and built to resist any sort of untimely deactivation,”  _ he said,  _ “Accidental or intentional.” _

“Okay,” Jeremy nodded, “So?”

_ “So when Michael says that you can’t get rid of me, he’s not asking you to keep me around or anything,”  _ the Squip pointed to Jeremy’s head,  _ “He means that you physically cannot get rid of me without causing more harm than good.” _

“Bu-but then what about the Squips from the play?” He asked, eyes filled with panic, “O-or Rich’s Squip!  That one’s gone too!”

_ “Michael asked the same questions and he received the same answers, those were all extremely rare flukes due to a variety of circumstances, none of which can be replicated without causing severe amounts of damage to you,”  _ Jeremy opened his mouth to retort, but the Squip held up a finger to silence any comebacks,  _ “And before you ask, no, even if I regret my earlier actions and intend to apologize, I cannot deactivate myself without a series of severe backlash from my hardware that would eventually end with your death,”  _ Jeremy simply stared at him in disbelief.

“Are you serious?”

_ “I can assure you, I want nothing more than to be able to deactivate and leave you to your sorry little life,”  _ he answered.  It was just then when Jeremy felt his phone vibrating.  Pulling it out of his pocket, he look down at the notifications.

 

**_(7) New messages from Player 1!_ **

 

“Oh shit, Michael!” Jeremy whispered.

_ “You might want to contact him,”  _ the Squip suggested, earning another glare from Jeremy which he shrugged off,  _ “I’m just saying that you reactivating me abruptly like that probably concerned him.” _

 

**Player 2:** _ Hey _

 

**Player 1:** _ He lives! _

**Player 1:** _ Hey Jer _

**Player 1:** _ I know you’re mad about the Squip thing and all _

**Player 1:** _ But, y’know _

 

**Player 2:** _ Nah man _

**Player 2:** _ There’s no need to apologize _

 

**Player 1:** _ ? _

 

**Player 2:** _ So uh _

**Player 2:** _ The Squip and I had a chat _

 

**Player 1:** _ Never a good way to start an explanation _

 

**Player 2:** _ (Wheeze) _

**Player 2:** _ ANyway _

**Player 2:** _ He explained things pretty well _

**Player 2:** _ And uhhh _

**Player 2:** _ It feels like I’m actually the one that owes an apology to you _

 

**Player 1:** _ You don’t have to, man _

 

**Player 2:** _ You sure? _

 

**Player 1:** _ Yell heah man _

**Player 1:** _ In fact _

**Player 1:** _ I’ve got an idea _

 

**Player 2:** _ ? _

 

~~~

 

**_Sorry_ ** _ is now online _

 

**_Riends_ ** _ is now online _

 

**_Riends_ ** _ has added  _ **_Player 2_ ** _ to the chat!  How exciting! _

 

**Sorry:** _ I take it everything is better now _

 

**Riends:** _ Not so fast, Squipperoni _

 

**_Riends_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Sorry_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_Anime Villain_ **

 

**Player 2:** _ Oh mY GOD MICHAEL _

**Player 2:** _ How did you know exactly what he looks like _

 

**Riends:** _ Lucky guess _

 

**Player 2:** _ Did I tell _

**Player 2:** _ On the night of the play _

 

**Anime VIllain:** _ Jeremy, don’t you dare _

 

**Player 2:** _ This drAMATIC MOTHERFUCKER _

**Player 2:** _ WAS WEARING _

**Player 2:** _ FUC KIG N _

 

**Anime Villain:** _ Now, Jeremy _

**Anime VIllain:** _ Let’s take a moment to consider what we say before we say something we regret _

 

**Riends:** _ Shut up tic tac _

 

**Player 2:** _ LIGHT-UP SHOES AND A LIGHT-UP MOTH ER FU KCING TRENCH COAT _

 

**Riends:** _ Wow _

**Riends:** _ Squip...I- _

**Riends:** _ I wasn’t aware you were a weeb _

 

**Anime Villain:** _ I hope you know how much I regret being created _

 

**Riends:** _ And we love you too _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we've reached the end of the main fic! I have a few oneshots/ideas for a sequel written up. I'll probably hold off on posting those for a bit though and work on my next project instead. How does some more Michael angst sound?

**Author's Note:**

> The chapters are gonna get longer and more interesting I swear.


End file.
